Self-Confidence Tips | Sadhguru
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| Self-Confidence Tips | Sadhguru |
The world respecting you is the quality of the world around you.
If they are that kind, they will respect you (Laughs).
But I know a lot has been said about this,
but you respecting yourself
I think is a little crazy.
Respect is between two people.
But I'm asking anybody here,
isn't respect between two people, ?
That you respect somebody for who they are?
“I respect myself” –
you must be mad because
these things.
Like this is a big thing you know, in America,
people are saying
all these days they used to say, '“I believe in god, '”,
now they say, “'I believe in myself”.'
All these days they used to say, “'I love you'” to somebody.
These days they have started, '“I love myself.'”
See, to love,
to believe,
to respect,
you need two.
If you have become two within yourself,
for sure you're heading for madness.
If you really become two, then we say you're schizophrenic, isn't it?
So this has been worked in so many different ways –
by religious people,
by new-age philosophers,
all kinds. –
“I love myself,
I respect myself,
I believe in myself,
me and my ego,
me and my soul” –
all kinds of things.
I'm asking you, all of you, –
within your body, are you one person or two people?
Please make up your mind right now,.
One or two?
So, this self respect business has to go because
this will lead to all kinds of expectations.
I respect myself.,
I think I'm a big guy,.
Now I expect you also to treat me like that.
When you don't, I will become resentful,
angry,
all kinds of things.
There is no need for me to respect myself.
But if I respect somebody,
it may not even be because of their quality;.
It is because of my quality, I respect somebody, isn't it?
See, you looking up to something
not necessarily mean that that person is in a fantastic place.
It is just that
you' are in a place of learning,
you' are in a place of moving upward in your life,.
So you're looking up.
You're looking up to something means you're moving upward.
If you're looking down upon something means you're moving downward, isn't it?
So, respect is between two people.
I don't see how it is applicable. “-
within myself, I respect myself,
I believe myself,
I love myself” –
these are all statements of the insane..
How do you take away negative thoughts?
Don’t identify any thought as negative because it’s just a thought.
Who told you it’s negative?
It’s just a thought,
you are making it up; maybe you like it.
What’s the problem?
If you understand it’s just a thought, it has no power.
If you think it’s a reality, then it destroys you.
It’s just a thought, isn’t it?
Is it true that you made up the thought?
No?
Sadhguru: Ahh you are having doubts about it (Laughter)
because you are not thinking, you have a mental diarrhea happening.
Yes,
it’s simply happening.
Thinking means…
the word thinking means,
you are exercising your thought process consciously, isn’t it?
Yes?
Thinking means, you are doing something consciously.
Right now this is in the state of mental diarrhea,
it’s just pouring all the time.
Now what is negative about it,
what is positive about it?
What is negative is, it’s happening unconsciously
that is what is negative,
not the content.
You thought about a devil, that’s negative.
You thought about a god, that is positive,
there is no such thing.
The most negative thing that is happening right now is,
it is happening unconsciously.
That is what is negative about it.
And more…
a whole lot of people have destroyed themselves
trying to stop those thoughts that they think are negative.
And they try to fight them in so many different ways.
You create these things and then you fight them.
It’s your thought,
you must be able to throw it and roll it back whenever you want, isn’t it?
You must be able to roll it out and roll it in as you want.
But right now, your own ghosts have become so big
that you want to fight them.
If you win, you are really lost.
Because something that is not true if you fight and win it,
you have really lost it, isn’t it?
So there is no such thing as negative and positive thought.
Either it’s a conscious thought or it’s a diarrhea.
So how to stop this?
See suppose you are having diarrhea,
physical diarrhea,
first thing to do is… every other treatment is next,
first thing to do is, stop eating bad food, isn’t it?
Hmm?
Something caused diarrhea,
first thing is stop eating bad food.
Whatever caused this, stop that.
This is the first thing you must do.
Right now the bad food is just this,
you identified yourself with something that you are not.
Now you can’t stop your thought process,
do what you want. You do any mantra you want,
think of any god you want, do whatever the hell you want.
The moment you identify yourself with something that you are not,
you cannot stop your mind.
Every moment of your life, you are in fear?
No.
So, when you are not in fear,
just stay like that
because to create fear,
you have to use excessive imagination.
To not be in fear, you don’t have to do anything.
Fear is happening because of excessive imagination
things that have not happened, you are creating.
What may happen in your mind
happens in thousand different formats
and most probably it never happens.
The things that you have feared
Take hundred things that you have feared.
Probably ninety nine of them never happened, isn’t it?
Yes?
So, your fear is always about that which does not exist.
You cannot fight or you cannot overcome that which does not exist.
We can overcome something which… that exists.
You cannot overcome that which does not exist.
We just have to give up that effort.
Enjoy the fear.
After all, it’s your making.
You like horror movies?
Yes.
I mean, you are saying no
but you are producing them.
Just they are not making money, that’s all.
Fear means you’re producing horror movies in your mind.
Nobody else is willing to watch.
That’s bad for the producer,
but you are producing them.
So, you produce something else
produce a comedy, a love story, suspense thriller
try and see today.
Just sit down, produce a love story,
a suspense thriller,
a comedy -
five five minutes movies you make in your mind,
really.
Start using your mind differently.
It’s just gotten into your pattern.
It’s just gotten into your pattern of
just creating horror movies all the time.
You have watched enough horror movies, they’re boring.
Create something else.
Even… It’s not that if you produce these movies,
those things will happen in your life.
Still they may not happen.
At least you enjoy the movie. (Laughs)
In reality, it may not happen,
so what?
At least you enjoy what’s happening in your mind
if you cannot enjoy what’s happening in the world, isn’t it?
That much privilege every human being deserves. Isn’t it so?
Even if the world is not kind to him,
at least his own mind should be kind to him
so produce some nice movies.
One of your limitations,
one of your problems,
one of your nonsense that people suffer around you,
one of those things should go.
You can’t leave all of it wholesale.
At least one,
shall we?
Because without transformation,
empty spirituality,
talking spirituality,
acting spiritual is no good.
Some transformation must happen isn’t it?
Please make that happen
so that
when you live people will enjoy living with you,
when you die they will miss you,
That’s how you should live.
On a certain day
Shankaran Pillai’s wife
was particularly incensed about her husband.
So she made a soup
and put five extra spoons of chili
and she came and served it.
It was hot,
steaming hot
and she wants to see what happens.
She rung her hands
but he was reading the newspaper,
she said the soup is ready,
she said the soup is ready,
she said the soup is ready
and he said hmm..hmm..hmm and still reading the newspaper.
Then she wanted to see if it really works
whether the chili powder is adulterated.
Not strong enough.
So she thought let her check it up
took a spoon full and just put it.
It just exploded in her mouth.
Tears welled up.
Tears started flowing.
Just at that moment
Shankaran Pillai kept his newspaper down and came.
He looked at her and asked
why are you crying?
She said
"You know, just last year my mother died
and how much she loved this soup.
When I just saw this soup bowl
it reminded me of my mother and tears came."
Oh is that so? don’t worry
what to do?
We all lose our mothers and fathers some time.
It’s all right.
Then Shankaran Pillai went back to his newspaper with the soup
and reading the newspaper he put it in his mouth
and it went boom like a dynamite.
Because this was a full spoonful.
Tears came into his eyes.
Then she came and said
Oh you are also emotional about my mother?
He said
No no I’m not crying because your mother died.
I’m crying because that good mother left
and she left you here and went.
This is not the way to live.
When you live, people should enjoy your presence.
When you die they should miss you.
If the reverse happens
that means we have lived the wrong way.
Isn’t it?